Five Types of Writers that Bog Down the eBook Market

By , April 9, 2012 1:30 am


Searching for an Agent Leads to the Discovery of…

As part of my agent search, I cruised through Amazon to check out authors who write books similar to my WIP.  When my search terms yielded a fairly lengthy list, I hoped that I found some great leads!  A few clicks later, I realized that most of the names led to self-published novels.  After I read a few sample pages and chapters, I created this list instead of crying for the future of publishing while eating ice cream out of the container.

No matter how learned or experienced we are, I think we writers somehow have a piece of each type deep inside of us!

…Five Types of Self Published Authors that Bog Down the eBook Market!

Angsty post-graduate.  Writes poetry that she believes is an enigmatic mirror to her soul, but everyone else recognizes that it is just nonsensical and dumb.  Believes that her poetry means that she is destined to be the next queen of literary fiction.  Her book has no plot.  At all.

Bored housewife.  Has read Twilight.  LOVES TWILIGHT!  TEAM JACOB OMG!  Writes for the YA market.  Still does not yet realize what YA means.

Mid-life crisis guy.  Has a soul sucking job and features characters with equally terrible work.  Thinks that being a professional means that he is actually too qualified to write a novel, but does it anyway as a hobby.  Hopes that his hobby will lead to millions of dollars so he may retire.  Likely does not read anything other than memos and reports.  Is afraid of the dark.

Egocentric.  This person has experienced something personally memorable yet mundane, like childbirth, illness, a family death, etc., and wrote a memoir.  The idea could work if he or she were a celebrity, but this isn’t the case.  Thinks that odd spelling and sentence structures give the memoir an innovative voice. Believes that every person is a unique snowflake.  Does not realize that journaling would have been the better option.

Johnny Good Writer.  Tells a good story.  Knows how to write a good query and good synopsis.  Never graduates past being good.  Manages to write original ideas by almost exclusively using cliches.

Are there more than five stereotypical types?  Comment and tell us about it!

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